Emotional Rollercoaster
by rholbyfan
Summary: This is my very first fan fiction ever! I hope you like it! I am undecided whether I will continue you this after the first two chapters I suppose I will wait and see what you all think first. This is set after keeping mum, I started writing it before I saw the actual episode so some of the events aren't quite the same. I don't own the rights to any of the character's.
1. Acceptance

She shut herself away from the world in her office, slumped into her chair, and placed her head into her hands. It had been the most horrendous shift; she just could not stop thinking about the young boy and his family, going repeatedly over whether there was anything she could have done differently to change the result. Maybe if she had managed to control her mother, the young family would not have ended up fighting and leaving the young lad thinking he had no other option but to do something reckless and dangerous to get their attention.

"Oh damn" she slammed her hand on the desk in frustration before the door opened; she looked up to find her mother staring back at her

"Mum, what are you still doing here? I thought the warden had come to collect you," she said with concern

"I heard about the young boy, I wanted to see how he was" Adrienne replied

"He's very lucky, a ruptured spleen, and a few broken ribs, it could have been worse" she faked a smile

"And you?" she moved towards Serena "Are you ok?" Serena let out a small sigh "I'm fine mum"

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused you today; I never meant to get in the way"

"I know that" she smiled "Now how are you going to get home? Do you want me to take you?"

"Matthew is waiting for me downstairs"

"I see...good" Serena squeezed her mother's hand gently "I will call you in the morning"

"Why don't you go home too, you look exhausted" Adrienne commented

"I have a few things I still need to do"

"Can't you ask Mr. Griffin to help you out?" she asked innocently

Serena smiled at the sound of his name, if only he had been around today as the voice of reason, as a friend maybe things wouldn't have turned out so badly she thought to herself before opening her mouth to reply "Unfortunately Mr. Griffin is not here, he is on leave...I will be fine honestly"

Adrienne nodded simply before heading off down the corridor, she knew she was never going to win that battle, work always came first with Serena, she never did put herself first, and she was not going to change now. Serena closed the door and headed back to her chair to get started on the report Guy wanted, but before she sat down the door opened. She turned around to find Guy Self, this was the last thing she needed "Serena" he said firmly

"Before you start I know I have screwed up today, I don't need you coming in herehighlighting it thank you"

"What was your mother doing here in the first place?" he asked as he closed the door

"She came to see me that is all"

"Serena you know we don't encourage family members visiting during working hours"

"I didn't ask her to come" she snapped, "She just turned up, what was I to do Guy turn her away, send her home"

"That's exactly what you should have done, you know the rules, and because of her carelessness a young lad could have died today"

"Don't you think I know all this, I was there remember, I saw him fall, I was the doctor on the sceneattending to him, so don't come in here telling me what could have or did happen!"

"It is my job to deal with any issues that directly affect the hospital Serena, you know that and I'm sorry but your mother is currently a big issue"

"She is not an issue Guy, she's my mother" she spat

"I appreciate that, however you need to face the facts, your mother is suffering from dementia and while she is left in this hospital to do as she pleases she is a liability" he said sternly "you need to deal with this and that isn't a request it's an order. If you need leave to be with her I will grant it, whatever I can do to help, I will do, but you have to sort this out. Is that clear?" he asked firmly

Serena could feel the tears building so she just nodded softly; she knew deep down that, she could no longer glaze over what she has known for months. She didn't want to accept that her mother was deteriating and that she would have to make the hardest decision she had ever made to ensure her safety "Is that all?" she managed to say

"That report, I need it on my desk by the morning," he stated before leaving

"Great" she sighed before opening her filing cabinet reaching in for a bottle of wine she always stashed in there. She and Ric would often partake in a little drink after the end of a hard shift, if only he was here now, she really could do with his voice of reason. She had so much to think about, so much to do but right now all she wanted to do was drink herself stupid, to numb the pain. Maybe tomorrow she would wake up and it would all be a dream she thought as she poured the wine into her mug before necking it and pouring herself another.

Over the next hour or so, she worked hard on the report and continued to drown her sorrows in a bottle of wine, it was numbing her pain, and that is all she wanted right now. The screen in front of her was starting to hurt her eyes and the words started to look cloudy, the effects of the alcohol were beginning to take effect. She was no longer thinking clearly, she needed to give up on the report and go home. She closed the lid of her laptop, put her coat on, placed the laptop in her bag, and lifted what was left of the bottle of wine off the table. She struggled towards the door and reached for the door handle, as her hand touched the metal the door suddenly opened knocking Serena off balance falling forwards and spilling the contents of the wine bottle over the person standing in front of her "Ric!" she said in shocked "What are you doing here?"

"Heard you had a bit of a day," he replied as he took the wine bottle from her

"You know you shouldn't listen to idle gossip" **s**he commented as she stepped back into the office

"Your mother phoned me," he admitted as he closed the door behind him and headed to the sink to try to do something about his now red stained shirt

"My mother, how on earth did she have your number?"

"She didn't, I believe she went through switch"

"Well didn't you tell them you were on leave and to hold all your phone calls?"

"Does any of this matter?" he asked as he wiped his shirt

"Well yes it does to me, my mother phoning a colleague to..."

"She phoned a friend," he corrected her

"Ric I can only apologise"

"What are you apologising for? Ruining my best shirt or hiding the truth from me?" he questioned

"No for my mother, well and the shirt... hang on a minute, what do you mean hiding the truth from you?"

"Serena I know"

"You know what Ric, stop talking in riddles**,** I have had a terrible day, all I want is to go home and drink myself stupid"

"And you think this is the answer do you?" he picked up the empty wine bottle "do you think this is going to make you feel better? Well do you?"

"It might" she replied

"Believe me Serena it won't, it may numb the pain for a bit however when it wears off you will still have to deal with everything in that head of yours but you will have to do it with a hung-over. Where is the Serena I know gone, what's happened to her?" he threw the empty bottle in the near bin

"You don't understand" she sunk into her seat

"Then make me understand! Tell me what has taken away the strong, professional woman that I knew, and respected" he sat on the edge of her desk staring at her

"I need to go home"

"You can't drive in this state; let me at least take you home?"

"Ok" she gave in "Thank you"

Ric helped her to gather everything she needed and they walked silently through the hospital. Although annoyed with her mother for contacting him she was also grateful, somehow having him around helped her. He was a calming influence and one of the very few people who could make her see reason and change her mind on things.

It was not long before they reached the car park and headed to Ric's car. Ric opened the boot and placed Serena's bags inside before opening the door to allow her to get in. He made his way around to the driver's side of the car and got in before heading off to Serena's house. They had not muttered a single word since she had agreed reluctantly to him giving her a lift"She cares about you that's why she phoned me you know" he broke the silence.

He could read her mind; he knew she was angry with her mother for contacting him because she never wanted to appear weak or vulnerable but now that was exactly how she felt; she just needed a little support to get her back on track.

"I know" she replied softly

"I know about the dementia," he admitted as he stopped by some traffic lights. Serena turned to face him, looking shocked "It's not dementia, **she is forgetful**, I think that's allowed at her age, god Ric I forget things all the time that doesn't mean I have dementia does it" she snapped

"No it doesn't, I myself forget things also but your mother is different and you know it" he turned into her street and parked outside her house. He placed his hand softly over hers and squeezed it

"It's ok...it will be ok"

She could feel tears forming in her eyes for the second time today as it finally hit her that this was it there was nowhere to hide anymore, she had to face it "I'm scared" she admitted softly as she looked into his big dark eyes

"Of course you are" he placed a hand reassuringly on her shoulder** "**this isn't something you can ignore, you know that don't you?"

"I don't know what I supposed to do, for the first time in my life I feel completely useless" she broke down and Ric pulled her into a hug, allowing her to release the tears that had been building for so long

"You are not in this alone, there are people out there who can help...it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help you know" he rubbed her back

"She needs me Ric and I have pushed her away, kept her at arm's length trying to ignore the signs"

He softly pushed her back so that he could see her face and with one hand he wiped away the stray tears "Your mother loves you and she knows you love her...she knows you are scared, so is she...she told me"

"How long have you known?" she asked

"Only today, when she phoned she was in a bit of a state...she told me what happened today and what has been happening over the past few months...oh Serena I thought we were friends"

"We are," she cried

"Then why didn't you tell me, I could have helped you"

"I didn't want to admit it was happening" she replied, "I don't want to talk about it"

"Ok" Ric did not want to push her too far, he knew if he were going to get Serena to open up to him to allow him to help her then it would need to be in her own time. If he pushed her now it could ruin any chance of him gaining her trust "you need to get some rest and if you want to talk again tomorrow we can**...**do not push me away Serena, I want to help...I care"

Serena placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed it slightly with her thumb "Thank you"

"That's what friends are for" he smiled "Now come on let's get you inside before you freeze to death" he got out of the car and helped her carry the bags to the house. Once inside Serena slipped her shoes off and turned the lights on "Right I will be off then...but remember I'm on the end of the phone"

"Would you like to stay for a drink?" she quickly asked before he disappeared down the path, she did not want him to leave just yet, she hated the thought of being alone tonight. She had never expected Ric to turn up but know that he had she did not want him to go, whether she wanted to admit it or not she needed a friend, she needed Ric.

"Don't you think you have had enough?" he asked disapprovingly

"I meant a coffee or tea" she replied** "**and I need to sort your shirt out, I ruined it, the least I could do is try and fix it"

"There is no need" he smiled "I will get a new one"

"But it's your favourite" she protested "Please Ric, just for a bit"

"Ok but on one condition"

"Anything" she replied

"You don't even know what the condition is yet"

"I trust you"

"You will take a shower and sort yourself out" he said as he removed his jacket "I will make the coffee, and what's this I hear about a report"

"Guy wants this stupid report on Neurology by the morning, I did it earlier but my mother managed to lose it...I will do it in the morning"

"Didn't you save it?" he asked

"We are not all as competent with a computer asMr. Griffin" she smiled

"Ok, here's the deal, you go and sort yourself out, I will see what I can do about the report, make you a coffee, and maybe a bit of food because I am guessing you haven't eaten at all today"

"I can't ask you to do that" she replied, she couldn't believe what was happening, over a few hours ago her life seemed to be completely out of control, a complete mess and the return of one man was changing that, he was genuinely here offering to help her with nothing really in return.

"You'renot asking, I'm telling...now go on" he insisted

Serena placed her arms around him hugging him tightly "Thank you...I have missed you"

"The old tortoise isn't all that bad after all is he" he smiled

"Well I wouldn't go that far" she returned his smile before heading up the stairs

She had been gone for just over an hour before she returned in her dressing gown "Feel better?" he asked as he caught her in the corner of his eye. There was something about her that he could not put into words, they just seemed to bounce offeach other, and although they were both very independent strong people, they somehow needed each other. He had always found her attractive and they flirted continuously in and out of work, however it had never gone further than that. Now she was standing in front of him looking vulnerable for the first time and it made her look more beautiful than he had seen her before.

"Yes thank you...did you have any luck with the report?" she asked as she sat beside him

"Yes luckily I found your old file and retrieved it...I have had a look at it and it looks very good. Guy should thank his lucky stars he has someone like you to write reports like that because mine are nowhere near that standard"

Serena smiled softly; she was so grateful to him for coming to her aid and supporting her, "I will forever be in debt to you"

"Don't be silly...you would do the same for **me" **he squeezed her hand "Now I don't know how to work your printer so while you do that I will make a bite to eat and a coffee" he stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

After sorting the printer out and printing the report, Serena went to join Ric in the kitchen. As she reached the doorway, she stopped and leaned against the doorframe for a few minutes just observing the man in front of her. She had not had a man cook for her for a very long time, in fact, she couldn't remember the last time any man looked after her, including Edward**,** he was the one who needed looking after in that relationship. As she watched him place the cheese on toast under the grill, she questioned her feelings for her best friend.

Before today, they had always flirted but it had never gone any further than that. They had had a few near misses, where they had been drunk and nearly kissed but they had always blamed the alcohol for their behaviour. She definitely found him attractive there was no question about that but until now she had been able to ignore the attraction. Tonight however was different, tonight she could feel this magnetic pull towards him, which she had never experienced before. The feeling was so powerful she was struggling to remain in control around him. He was there helping her out, looking after her, treating her the way she had always wanted to be treated by a man but he was here as her friend and nothing else, if she crossed that line now would she ruin everything, would he even feel the same. These were all questions she had no answers to, the only thing she was sure of was her feelings for her best friend had suddenly changed, she no longer wanted him as her friend, she wanted more than that. The funny thing was her mother had commented on the spark between them months ago and she fiercely denied anything more pure friendship but now she wondered was her mother right after all, had she always had feelings for the man in front of her. The question was, was she willing to risk ruining the one good thing in her life or should she just bury her feelings like she had done previously.

"Ah how long have you been there?" he asked as he turned around

"Not long" she admitted

"Well take a seat...I hope you like cheese on toast...not my usual type of food but a great quick snack I find" he placed her hot coffee in front of her before removing the toast from under the grill and placing them on the plates

"No cheese on toast is just fine, thank you"

He placed the plates on the table before joining her "Tuck in" he smiled

"Ric why are you doing all this?" she asked, she had to know what was driving this concern, was it just because she was a colleague, a friend and he wanted to help her or was it more than that"

"I told you, you're my friend and I care" he placed a piece of toast in his mouth "Is it so hard to believe that someone would care Serena?"

"Maybe" she admitted, "I have felt so alone for so long"

"But you are not alone" he reached for her hand "I will help you in any way I can"

"I'm scared of losing her Ric," she admitted as he eyes filled up

"She's not dying," he reminded her

"I know that, sometimes I think that would be easier if she was, how awful does that sound?"

"It doesn't sound awful; I would say that is a normal reaction to such a situation"

"One day I will wake up and she won't know who I am" a tear escaped down her cheek. Ric did not respond he just squeezed her hand gently, sending her a silent message that it was ok to be upset and that he was there and listening.

"She has been forgetting things for a while, however at first I thought it was normal old age...then one Saturday the warden rang me to say she had had an accident with the hob, she thought the mug was a pan and put it on the hob, she burnt her hand. I knew from that day that it wasn't as simple as just being forgetful but I stuck my head in the sand and ignored it, I ignored my own mother, what kind of person does that"

"The kind that is scared of the truth" he rubbed her hand softly with his thumb

"I'm a consultant for goodness sake; I should be able to deal with things like this"

"Being a consultant or a doctor doesn't protect you from situations like this with your own family, sometimes it makes it worse as we know too much"

"What am I going to do Ric?" she looked up into his eyes searching for answers

"I don't have all the answers Serena but you have already done the hardest part by talking to me, admitting it. If your mother does have dementia, it is not the end of the world you know that as much as I do. The perception that if someone has dementia his or her live is over is rubbish. More and more people are living on their own in communities with dementia these days; they just need the right support. Firstly, we need to get your mother seen by a specialist, get a true diagnosis, and then we need to look at her living arrangements and see if they are suitable. She already lives in a warden-controlled environment; maybe we could get her home assessed to see if things can be altered to ensure she is safe. If we can alter things in the environment she is already familiar with**, it** would be better for Adrienne. Uprooting her to a new environment could be upsetting for her. In the future as the disease progresses maybe you will need to move her but right now surely it is best to try and allow her to remain as independent as possible"

"You said we" she commented

"Yes because I am going to help you every step of the way, if you will let me"

"You don't need to do that; it's not your problem"

"Adrienne is not a problem, she most probably has a progressive disease which we know in time will seriously affect her mind, and function but all she needs at the moment is her family, friends and support. She is just as scared as you Serena, she needs our support"

"She always said you were a good un" she smiled

"Well what can I say, she has good taste"

"Yes I suppose she does," she admitted, "I will wash up, you take your coffee in the front room and rest those feet"

"I will help you, I made the mess" he reached for her plate and placed them in the sink

"Ric please will you let me try and sort that shirt out, you have done so much for me tonight...it's the least I could do"

"You can try"

She went into the cupboard under the sink and reached from the stain remover spray and sponge. She sprayed a small amount onto his shirt, placed her one hand underneath the material, and used the other to rub with the sponge. The closeness between them made them both blush; her touch to his bare skin sent a sensation through both their bodies "This is useless**;** you are going to have to take it off so I can soak it"

"I don't have a spare," he said blushing

"I will soak it, wash it and it will be as good as new in an hour or so"

"It's not that, I don't have anything to put on instead"

"Oh I see what you mean...you'renot embarrassed are you... you got nothing I haven't seen before Ric"

He wasn't sure whether this was a good idea or not, but he undid his shirt buttons and slipped it off his shoulders to reveal his surprisingly toned body "Don't laugh" he threw his shirt at her as he blushed

She couldn't help but stare at the now half naked Ric standing before her, he was so well toned, how hadn't she see that before "Serena?" Ric called

"Oh sorry Ric...I ...I will just soak it now" she blushed as she quickly turned around and placed the shirt into the bowl. Her head had suddenly become muffled; she was not thinking properly, she did not really know what she was supposed to be doing. All she could think about was the man standing behind her; she gripped onto the worktop as she tried to regain some control over her feelings. Seeing his bare skin sent a loving sensation through her body, she just wanted to turn around, touch him, and be close to him. She knew that was not a possibility as it would risk her friendship with him but it did not stop her longing for his arms to be around her.

As Ric stood and watched the normally very controlled woman blush in front of him, he could not help but wonder whether she had feelings for him like, he did for her. However if he took a chance now and showed his true feelings, would they be seen as genuine or as comfort, he did not want to take advantage of her while she was so vulnerable. He did however have this strong desire to protect and comfort her, he wanted to be more than a friend to her, their friendship was great but it wasn't enough anymore.

"Serena, tell me about your day" he tried to take control of the tense situation that had been created and he knew that her mother was not the only thing that had caused her pain today. He could tell that the events of the day were weighing heavily on her mind

"I just want to forget it" she didn't turn to face him, she continued to scrub his shirt

"I think you need to talk about it, get it off your chest" he moved to stand behind her

She could sense he was now standing very close to her "It was all my fault" she finally admitted, stopping what she was doing "If it wasn't for me that young boy would not be lying in ITU, I know it and Mr. Self knows it"

"You could not have known what he was going to do"

"Maybe not, but my mother caused the argument that lead to the young lad thinking the only thing he could do was jump" a tear escaped as she closed her eyes and relived the terrifying scene "I was too late...I tried to grab him but he was too quick, it happened so fast"

Ric placed his hands gently on her shoulders and turned her around to face him, he wiped the loose tears from her cheek with his thumb before hugging her tightly. It broke his heart to see her so vulnerable, blaming herself for a situation that was out of her control. In his arms she felt safe and aloud the events of the day to finally spill out as she sobbed into his bare chest.

"Every time I close my eyes I see him jump, I should have prevented it"

"You saved his life" he kissed the top of her head

"I shouldn't have needed too," she snapped, as she pushed against his bare chest to release her from his hold "It should never have happened in the first place"

"Accidents happen, we can't control everything" he tried to reason with her

"If I had faced up to my mother's condition sooner, if you had been there it wouldn't have happened"

"If, if, if...Serena we can't live with if's...unfortunately your mother may have unintentionally caused an argument but that young kid was already at the end of his tether from what I have been told, if it hadn't have happened today it would have happened another time. In a way he was lucky you were there"

"He was younger than Eleanor**,** I looked at his motionless body from the roof and thought he was dead, I thought of what I would have done if it was Ellie. She isn't even speaking to me Ric**...**my daughter hates me"

"She doesn't hate you, she's a young adult enjoying Uni life, and it's what they do"

"I haven't been a good mother, everyone I care about I hurt...you had better not stay too long or you will be the next"

"Is that you trying to tell me that you care?"

She looked up into his big eyes "Of course I care" she whispered as she placed one hand on his bare chest, "How could you think I didn't? ...I will end up hurting you too"

"You can try but I won't let that happen...Serenayou are only human, we all make wrong decisions and mistakes but we learn from them. Look at Jess and I, I have been the world's worst father to all of my children, but now Jess and I could not be closer. I have made many mistakes with my kids, but they know I am there for them now and that is what matters"

"You're a good father Ric"

"No...until recently I didn't realise how lucky I was and how much they all meant to me...I would kill for them" he admitted

"You wouldn't have it in you to kill anyone Ric, no matter how much you wanted too. You had many opportunities to kill Jess's husband but you did not because you are a decent man. You weren't driving the car either were you" she commented

"How did you know?" he asked

"Because I know you Ric Griffin" she placed her hand on his cheek "You would never have left him for dead"

"I wanted too," he admitted as tears formed in his eyes "I wanted to kill him for what he did to Jess"

"I understand that but you haven't got it in you to be so cruel"

"He hurt her...he beat her and she couldn't tell me" a tear escaped

"Oh Ric" she wiped his tear away "She loves you"

"I'm her father and she couldn't turn to me for help"

"She did in the end and you got her away from him...you left your job...you left me..."

Ric looked into her eyes "I didn't leave you...I was always coming back"

"I know but you just went without even saying goodbye, I had to hear it off Guy Self...that hurt, I thought we were friends...I thought you would have told me"

"I'm sorry" he leaned his forehead against hers

"I missed you," she whispered softly as she closed her eyes trying to keep control as she found herself so close to him.

He knew that it was now or never, he had to take the chance, he had to find out if her feelings mirrored his, it just felt right. He closed his eyes and kissed her lips softly before pulling away "I'm sorry" he said softly "I shouldn't have taken advantage of your vulnerability; I never meant to...I got carried away with the moment and... Um I should go" he turned quickly and headed for the door.

"Ric wait" she called after him

"I'll speak to you tomorrow" he quickly put his shoes on

"Ric don't just leave like this...what about your shirt"

"I'll have it another time...I'm really sorry Serena" he said before leaving and closing the door behind him. Serena stood in her hallway with tears streaming down her face, why had he run out on her, he had not done anything that she did want him to do. She had not wanted him to leave, what had just happened was not a mistake in her eyes. She rubbed her lips with her finger as they still tingled from his soft touch. She sat on the last step of the stairs and sobbed, she was falling in love with him and she knew that now but his reaction to their brief kiss was one of panic and regret so did that mean he did not feel the same about her. She was so confused; she had not asked for any of this tonight, Ric had been the one who instigated the kiss so why did he run off. What was she going to do know she thought as she placed her head in her hands?

Meanwhile Ric sat in his car with his head on the steering wheel cursing himself, what was he thinking kissing her like that after the day, she had had. What must she think of him taking advantage of her like that, how was he going to face her again.


	2. Seeing Red

Serena lay awake in her bed as her alarm went off, she had not managed to get much sleep during the night, and her mind would not switch off. She reached for her mobile and looked at it hoping deep down that Ric had sent a message but he had not. She searched for his name and hovered her finger over the call button, she wanted to speak to him, she needed to speak to him, and they needed to sort out what happened last night. Before she dialled his number, she had second thoughts, he had not messaged her so maybe he did not want to speak to her, and maybe what happened last night had ruined everything. She sighed as she placed the phone back on the bedside cabinet, she knew she needed to get up but it was the last thing she wanted to do.

An hour later, she headed to work as normal, wondering whether she would see Ric today or not. She hoped she would;she wanted him to return to work as soon as possible. She needed to talk to him and she wanted his help with her mother, whether he would want to give it now though was another matter. She knocked on Guy Self's door "Come in" he called Serena entered and held out the report "The report you requested"

"Better late than never I suppose"

"I think that is uncalled for, I have never let you down, but the pressure you put on me and Professor Hope yesterday was unnecessary, our jobs are hard enough without pressure from above"

"Well you know what they say...if you cannot cope with the pressure get out of the job"

"I never said I couldn't cope but you changing the goal posts every five minutes are unacceptable and unfair. You really do need to look at the way you treat you staff because one day you will wake up and you will have none! Now if that is all"

"No it's not, sit," he demanded

"I'm not a dog"

"Your mother"

"What about her?" she asked angrily, she had only been in work five minutes and Guy had already managed to wind her up

"Serena did you listen to anything I said to you yesterday...your mother nearly caused a death here and I can't have it happening again so what are you doing about it"

"What do you expect me to do Guy, lock her up, chain her to a lamppost, what would you do if it was your mother"

"I wouldn't have let it get this far if it was my mother"

"Well I'm sorry we can't all be as perfect as you," she snapped

"I'm not sure I like your tone"

"And I'm not sure I like you telling me what to do about my family, I don't go around telling you how to deal with yours and let's be fair Guy if we want to talk about liabilities I think you should look a bit closer to home before picking on my mother. My mother has dementia, it's a progressive disease as you know and I am dealing with it and that is all you need to know"

Before he could reply, there was a knock on the door and Ric appeared "Ah Mr. Griffin your back"

"I just popped in to have a word, discuss my intentions of returning"

"Of course, please take a seat...we are nearly finished"

Serena looked towards Ric and he gave her a warm smile "Serena how are you dealing with it, how are you going to stop what happened yesterday happening again. This hospital can't afford to have any more negative press, especially when the deputy CEO is involved"

Ric could see Serena trying to hold back her tears, he knew the subject of her mother was still very raw, it had taken him hours to get her to open up to him about it the previous night and Guy putting pressure on her wasn't going to help. "Well?" Guy asked, "Lost your tongue now Ric has arrived"

"Guy that's uncalled for" Ric interrupted "I'm sure Serena is perfectly aware that the hospital needs positive press and not negative. She wants to improve this hospital as much as the rest of us; she was only saying yesterday that she wants to help promote Dementia"

"You were?" Guy asked, Serena looked confused, she hadn't mentioned raising the profile of dementia in the hospital at all

"Yes she is working on a little project; I said I would help her that's why I want to come back sooner than planned. We do not want to say too much about it now but once we have it planned, we will pass it through you, it will be good for the hospital. As far as her family are concerned I don't feel it is our place to comment, I'm sure Serena has it all under control now" she smiled at him to say thank you for saving her once again

"Very well, you may go and I look forward to seeing these plans"

Serena nodded before heading for the door, she looked back at Ric before she left and he smiled. As she left she found herself more confused than ever, why would he do all that if he did not care, if he did not have feelings for her, but after last night, he made it clear kissing her was a mistake. Her life was becoming more complicated by the minute but she needed to get back in control of it somehow.

The rest of the morning Serena spent in theatre so she had not seen Ric at all since he turned up in Guys office that morning. She walked through the corridors to Keller and found Ric talking to Sasha by the nurse's station. She smiled as she watched him laughing and joking with Sasha and Arthur, obviously telling tales of his recent adventures, something she had yet to ask him about "ah here she is" Sasha said, "Holby's queen"

She blushed "I'm hardly that"

"Did you know this man was back?" he asked

"I had heard" she smiled

"Yes we bumped into each other this morning" Ric continued "In Self's office"

"Oh I don't know what has got into him lately, the way he pushes his weight about, I know he's the boss, but there are ways to speak to people"

"I heard he has been rather hard on certain individuals lately" he looked towards Serena "He will learn"

"Right well I have patients to see...come on Dr. Digby...lovely to have you back Ric" Sasha tapped Ric on the shoulder

"Are you staying around for a bit?" Serena asked

"Yes Guy has asked me to do his list this afternoon"

"What today?" she looked shocked "Oh that man is incredible" she placed a set of notes on the nurse's station

"I don't mind, it will give me something to do"

"I thought maybe we could talk," she suggested

"Later, right now I have to sort out some paperwork and then do the two operations on the list"

"Ric I really think we need to talk about last night" she placed her hand on his arm

"There is nothing to talk about, my behaviour was unacceptable and I apologise, itwill not happen again"

"I see" she looked disappointed, in fact, she felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach.

Her feelings for him were getting stronger and stronger and his well his seemed to be disappearing fast "See you later" he smiled before heading off towards the office

"Yeah later"

Serena stood and watched him walk into the office "Serena" Collette called "Are you ok?"

"Yes...yes fine" she smiled slightly

"I need you to take a look at Mr. Charles; he is refusing treatment from us all"

"Well if he doesn't want treatment we can't make him"

"He asked for you" Collette passed her his notes

She sighed, this was the last thing she needed right now, all she wanted to do was hide away in the office and get drunk. "Very well, where is he?"

"Bay one, bed four"

Serena made her way towards the young lad's bed only to find it empty "Where is he?" she asked

"He was here a minute ago...Zosia did you see where Mr. Charles went?" Collette called

"Yes he's over here," she pointed towards the exit

"If he wants to leave there isn't a lot we can do about it, get him to sign a form and let him go. I haven't the time for time wasters today," Serena said sternly

"OK" Collette agreed as she approached the young man, "Mr. Charles I have spoken to Mrs. Campbell and she said she cannot force you to have treatment and if you want to leave you just have to sign a form to sayit's against medical advice"

"Where is she?" he asked angrily "is that her?" he pointed towards Serena who was heading back to the office "Oi Mrs. Campbell" he shouted

"If you don't mind lowing your tone, this is a ward full of sick people and please do not address me with Oi"

"How else was I going to get your attention?"

"What can I do for you Mr. Charles, my nurses tell me that you're refusing treatment, it would be against my advice for you to leave, but I am unable to stop you. If that is your wish one of the nurses will get a form for you to sign and then you are free to go," she said before turning to continue towards the office, she could see Ric watching from the doorway, he had heard the raised voices. Before she stepped any further Mr. Charles grabbed Serena by the arm and swung her around, she lost her balance and hit the wall. Before anything else happened Ric appeared from the office, grabbed Mr. Charles by the collar, and held him up against the wall "You do not treat woman like that" he hissed "Especially ones trying to help you"

"Ric" Serena called placing her arm on his "Ric let him go, he didn't hurt me...Ric please"

Ric let him drop to the floor and stormed off towards the end of the ward "What just happened there?" Collette asked looking shocked. She was not as shocked as Serena was; Ric's reaction was so out of character for him, what was going on in his head.

"I don't know," she admitted as she watched him disappear in the distance

"He's only been back five minutes and he's already causing trouble...if Mr Self finds out about this..."

"Mr. Charles, are you ok?" Serena asked, "I apologise for my colleague's behaviour"

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed you, I didn't mean to frighten you or hurt you...I just wanted you to talk to me...I'm scared"

"Oh Mr. Charles...I'm sorry...would you like to talk now?"

"I just want to know if I will be able to work again if I have this operation, I'm a fireman see and they are so strict on fitness...I don't want to lose my job" he said as they walked back to his bed

"Obviously the operation carries risk as does all operations but there is nothing to suggest at present that it won't go well and you will make a full recovery. It shouldn't affect you're place in the fire service"

"That doctor told me it would," he pointed towards Zosia

"I apologise, Dr. March is one of our junior doctors and is still learning, she wouldn't have meant to frighten you. I also apologise for Mr. Griffin's behaviour it was unacceptable"

"If you want to take it further we can get the necessary paperwork" Collette butted in and Serena glared at her, she did not want Ric's behaviour highlighted to Mr. Self if she could help it. He had been in enough trouble before he went away and she wanted to get to the bottom of hi behaviour herself without Guy interrupting.

"Or you could just accept my apology and leave it at that, a misunderstanding on both our parts"

"Yes I don't want to take it further; it was my fault...and thank you Mrs. Campbell"

"My pleasure, I will see you in theatre" she smiled "Collette a word please"

Collette followed her to the nurse's station "What are you playing at?" Serena asked

"I was giving the patient the option, its protocol Serena, Ric attacked him"

Serena laughed, "I would hardly call it an attack, I am not excusing Mr. Griffin's behaviour, but it was very out of character for him. If we take this to Mr. Self, I will feel I have no option other than to also highlight Dr. Marsh's lack of tact while dealing with patients. I would rather deal with this myself than get Mr. Self-involved, is that clear"

"Perfectly"

"Thank you" she replied before she headed off to find Ric, she needed to find out what had gotten into him.

She searched everywhere for him but no one had seen him, Sasha had suggested she try theatre as he was due to operate in half hour, it was her last hope. She also had a theatre slot in half an hour so she changed into her scrubs and entered the scrub room where she found Ric sitting alone staring at the floor.

"I been looking everywhere for you" she said "Do you want to tell me what the hell happened back there, I have spent the last half hour trying to persuade Collette and Mr. Charles not to take it any further"

"Let them take it further, I deserve whatever is coming" he replied

She moved closer to him "what the hell has got into you?"

"I thought he was hurting you" he admitted, "Ok there it is...I thought I was helping you"

"Ric we have been in these positions before, it is part of the job you know that. If he was hurting me security would have been called immediately but as it happens he was just a scared patient because our lovely Dr. Marsh told him he would lose his job if he had the operation"

Ric stood up and washed his hands "I'm sorry I was out of order"

"Yes you were but what I don't understand is why you did it"

"I told you I thought he was hurting you" he slammed his hands on the sink making her jump "I saw him grab you and I saw red, I didn't think I just acted"

"Ric" she placed her hand on his arm and turned him to face her "but why did you see red...I thought you didn't care anymore"

Ric laughed and turned back around staring into the sink "I don't care...is that what you think?" he asked

"You told me what happened was a mistake what else am I supposed to think"

"Oh I care Serena...I care too much that's the problem" he replied still staring into the sink

"But you said..."

"I lied" he snapped, "I lied because I didn't want you thinking badly of me"

"Ric look at me" she said softly "Ric...please" he turned around to face her with tears in his eyes for the second time

"I saw him touch you, grab you and I saw red**, **it has never happened before because I wasn't in... I wasn't..."

"You weren'twhat Ric?" Serena moved closer to him and placed her hand on his face

"Because I wasn't in love with you before" he blurted out, she could not believe she had just heard those words come out of his mouth "I know I have no right but I..." Serena silenced him by placing her lips against his, kissing him softly "Serena I don't want you to feel I have pushed you into this"

"When you told me it was a mistake earlier, my heart sank, I didn't want you to go last night, I wanted you to stay. After you left I sat on the stairs breaking my heart"

"I couldn't take advantage of you, I thought I was doing the right thing leaving...I never wanted to hurt you. I have tried to fight my feelings but they are too strong" He placed his one hand behind her head and allowed their lips to crash together once again this time with urgency and passion. As the kiss intensified, their lips parted and allowed their tongues to explore each other's mouths. Their lips parted after a few moments to gain some control over their breathing and they smiled at each other

"That was worth the wait" she smiled "Ric...I think I have fallen in love with you...I told myself not too, your my best friend, we work together and if this goes wrong it will be messy, but I just cannot hide my feelings for you any longer. I have hated you not being around these past few months"

"We have a lot to talk about" he admitted "No one is saying it's going to be easy but unless we give ourselves a chance how will we know if it will work or not" he rubbed her cheek with his thumb

"Do you think it could work if we decided to give it a go?" she rested her head against his chest as he hugged her

"I don't have any answers Serena, all I can promise is I will give it my all" he kissed the top of her head "Let's go back to mine after work, get a takeaway and talk"

"Yes that would be lovely" she smiled "I had better get going before we get caught" she looked up at him and kissed him softly before leaving the scrub room to head to her theatre**.**

The last 24 hours had been such an emotional rollercoaster for her but right now, she was happy. She knew there was a lot to talk about and that she didn't know what was going to happen along their way but to have the support of Ric made her feel stronger. She knew she did not need him to get through the tough challenge she was going to need to face, but she wanted him and that was the difference.


End file.
